Love your enemies. 113. 62 Funny Inspirational Quotes to Motivate Your Team My past is just a bad book that deserves to be in the trash. 1. We have divided these daily funny affirmations in these sections; Also check out our post ondaily affirmations for womenandaffirmations for menthat can help you to feel motivated and reshape your limiting beliefs. Following my intuition and my heart keeps me safe and sound. "We . 19. You can be positive and yet be funny and easy-going. "Being funny doesn't take much effort.". 10 Funny Affirmations That Will Put A Smile On Your Face - QuoteReel Because seven ate nine. Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet, miss a car payment. Repeat the affirmation as many times as you see fit. 12. This is a snap. 85. If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. The world needs people like me to keep things interesting! Im multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. .People who enjoy making other people laugh are also known to be more detail oriented. 154 Short, Positive Affirmations that are Easy to Remember You never know what you have, until you clean your closet. Using affirmations can significantly impact your outlook on life, but saying such serious statements to yourself can often make you feel silly. 179. You know you are lazy when you get excited about canceling your plans. 69 Funny Affirmations To Lighten Up Your Mood 83. You were too lazy to read that number. Bill Murray I am the sunshine even when its gloomy outside. Jonathan lockwood huie. Why did the can crusher quit his job? All you need is love. Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. These affirmations will help you to combat the lies of the enemy in every aspect of your life. It can get you out of a tight corner and people who lack a sense of humor cannot do. Not a peli-cant. Im not insulting you. 230. I am Ananya, a professional speaker and I love motivating people and inspiring them to pursue their dreams. Then, think about how easy it would be to say a simple statement to yourself throughout the day. I focus on breathing and grounding myself. Alison Boulter 17. Putting up with others shit isnt on my To-Do list today. Erma Bombeck I put my phone in airplane mode, but its not flying. 5. ( @malacollective) Fear and adventure go hand-in-hand when you're following your dreams. I didnt want to interrupt her. I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. I may not know karate, but I know crazy and Im not afraid to use it. 40 Short Positive Affirmations + Free Printable - Dare Your Lifestyle Positive Daily Affirmations for Women. 104. 223. Trust me, your secrets are safe with me and all of my friends. Never test how deep the water is with both feet. 46. If only common sense were more common. 150. Live life to the fullest. 1. 169. 177. Take some time each day to go through these funny affirmations for self-esteem and see how your mood shifts in response. First, read the most powerful affirmations below to build a strong mind. 9. I am loving all the bad experiences because they are giving me something . 114. 52. Not sure who to credit this meme to, but kudos. It takes so little to change your life! 212. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. 243. Rome wasnt built in a day. Its not easy staying motivated for work all the time. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Short Funny Affirmations. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. It gets toad away. 20. They log in. 4. 59. Check out our funny affirmations selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our encouragement cards shops. 128. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Should I Send My Child to Therapy? I am quite fascinating. Breasts dont have eyes. Sam Levenson I nourish my body every day. What do you call a bear with no teeth? 64. I love myself, which is why I dont need to love the idea of other people loving me. If you cant remember my name, just say chocolate and Ill turn around.. 111. 75 Powerful Affirmations for Self-Love - Fun Loving Families I am grateful for all that I have. 98. I will go out. 160. Being funny seems to be taking less effort. 5. 44. Boost your ego and narcissism in as little as 5 minutes per day and set yourself up for success. I always find something funny in every situation. Ensure that your actions match your words. 24. - Jack London. Awesome things will happen today if you choose not to be miserable., 7. You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. We all need a little energy boost here and there. 13. Dont worry, the spider is smaller than you. Remember: Dont Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. The only relationship I have is with my Wifi. I often wish I was someone else Just so I could hang around with someone as awesome as me. 160. I'm sorry, I have to quickly disable alarm level brown. I am positive. If you cant laugh at your own problems, call me and Ill laugh at them. "Age is of no importance unless you're a cheese.". Hmmm, this text message is a little too harsh, Ill add LOL at the end. Every one of my colleagues brings happiness into the office. Hello little voice inside my head, please just shut up. Wake up and smell the birdshit on your windshield. 107. Let me gather my thoughts and crush this Monday., 15. I may stumble along the way, but I will get over it. 210. No matter how bad it gets Im always rich when I go to the dollar store. Always remember youre unique, just like everyone else. If you have crazy friends you have everything youll ever need. Still, you need to embrace each of these surprises with same positive conviction and appreciation. Your eyes water when you yawn, because you miss your bed and it makes you sad. 199. We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack. 264. Today Im going to reach for the stars so that I can air out my armpits., 8. 26. May life man not be perfect, but Im blessed., 13. 4. 155. 6. 8. You know you are lazy when you get excited about canceling your plans. For the best seat in the house, youll have to move the dog. 115. 263. Im a work in progress without a completion date., See also: 120 Ultimate Best Quotes About Progress To Fuel Your Growth. 201. 3. You were too lazy to read that number. Ted Turner. I heard a great joke about amnesia but I forgot it. Bill Murray, 251. I might take a nap if I get tired, but I wont quit. 250. Swimming trunks. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. 3. A gummy bear. I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. Funny affirmation quotes funny quotes about affirmation. - Jeffrey Gitomer. Please excuse me while I go check the plumbing. For the best seat in the house, youll have to move the dog. 100 Funny Christmas Quotes: Short Holiday Sayings - Parade - Kyle Chandler. If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side. It may look like Im doing nothing, but in my head, Im quite busy. But you're not as old as you're going to be.". 26. I'm having a staff meeting.". Short people with an umbrella. 17. It just plain forms. Im not weird, Im just limited edition. Subscribe To Our Newsletter! Frances McDormand God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. Today I will embrace the poop., 7. Honolulu, its got everything. 91. I attract the right people and repel the wrong ones. Remember: Dont Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. Your eyes water when you yawn, because you miss your bed and it makes you sad. Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? 197. 18 Funny Positive Affirmations. I accept my body the way it is today. My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. Sometimes I am so freaking awesome, I blow my own mind. Friends buy you food. So far, so good. 1. Whoever said great things come in small packages hasnt seen my big screen TV. Swimming trunks. Be careful when you follow the masses. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. I am happy and joyful. To thrive in life you need three bones. Mind blown! I make people laugh, whether its with me or at me., 8. 84. 82. My liver still works. Ive been doing nothing for years. 85 Funny Wednesday Quotes, Sayings, Pics, and Images - The Random Vibez Why was six scared of seven? I did it! Snowballs. Consider what you want to accomplish using these witty affirmations, and go for the ones that will bring you closer to that goal. 6. P.D. 96. Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing. As you can see, laughter is already a powerful tool on its own. 152. Also read: 50+ Powerful Positive Affirmations For Exams. Discover short videos related to funny affirmations on TikTok. Franklin Jones, 259. 126. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I cant see. 9. If the funny affirmations that Ive put together dont break your cool, then feel free to throw on a comedy special on Netflix or Youtube when you feel stressed. 278. Not everyone has good taste., 3. Good morning! We'll get to that later. Run. Sincerely, yourself., 2. Well, life isn't just about glitz and glamour nor rainbows and butterflies. 227. You need some sort of way to offset the inevitable stressors of life, and what better way to do that than with humor? Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Friday Affirmations: 20 Affirmations to Wind Down the Week Hmmm, this text message is a little too harsh, Ill add LOL at the end. You can think about your affirmations at work, while driving, when you practice yoga, and when you spend time with your . 170. Yeah, so is a grenade. "What doesn't kill you makes your drinks stronger.". Nobody gets out alive anyway. 23. Today, I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. Infographic: Why Do People Swipe Right (or Left) on Tinder. The only power you have is the word no. Chop your own wood. Never ask a starfish for directions. Good morning! Let us know which of these motivational affirmations inspired you the most. If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. 101. 90 Funny Affirmations To Start Your Day With Laughter (2023) We may speak different languages, but we all laugh the same. 156. East Here are some tips on how to make the most of using these humorous affirmations: Laughter and affirmations are already powerful separately, so imagine what they can do for you when combined. 182. I see the funny side of life more and more. Learn sign language, its very handy. 235. 118. Stuart Turner 38. Walter Bagehot As a result, youll stay consistent, and with affirmations, consistency is the name of the game. Charles M. Schulz Its alright if you dont agree with me, I cant force you to be right. 266. With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. I like my thoughts how I like my whiskey, always glass half full. I am passing all the things and hardships with a smile. My mood swings keep life interesting. What do computers eat for a snack? No matter how bad it gets, Im always rich when I go to the dollar store. New year, new me. How do astronomers organize a party? I personally love watching masters of comedy captivate audiences with their dark humor and crafty punchlines. The library, because it has so many stories. But you can always be immature. See more ideas about sarcastic, funny quotes, funny. ". Whether youre saying the affirmations aloud or writing them down, laughing along will only strengthen their effect. Not me, but somebody does. 218. You can write them down and use them whenever youre attending a social event or if you simply just want to make yourself laugh. Short Funny Affirmations - Finally, I'm Revealing My Secret When nothing is going right, go left. Sometimes the M is silent. Home: Where I can look ugly and not care. 18. I tell you what always catches my eye. 125. Sam Levenson. 4. Friday Affirmations. People wait all week for Friday, all year for summer, all life for happiness. I will create my own magic like my name is J. K. Rowling. Read next: 280 Positive Money Affirmations For An Abundance Mindset, Posted on Published: January 26, 2023- Last updated: January 27, 2023, Home 90 Funny Affirmations To Start Your Day With Laughter, Fabulous List Of 120 Cute Names To Call Your Crush, 120 Follow Your Dreams Quotes To Keep You On The Track. 203. 272. 45. You can simply try out one of our funny options, or think of affirmations that best match your sense of humor. 27. 37. Jackie Collins Effective pushing often involves poop. Dont drink to forget me, youll end up seeing me double. 80 Soren Kierkegaard Quotes On Love, Life And Philosophy, Top 90 Martin Luther King Jr. My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. Perhaps youre just starting to use affirmations and still cant take yourself seriously. Best friends eat your food. Some when they enter, others when they leave., 2. Sorry, I didnt pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. P.D. 192. Not only can laughter improve our problem-solving skills, but it can also help battle various diseases. "Have a great Wednesday. Doing nothing is hard, you never know when youre done. The world is my buffet, and my plate is ready to go. When life closes a door, just open it again. I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. 79. 1. Did you know that having a good sense of humor is very important when it comes to social interaction? I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. 92. Affirmations can either be written down, spoken out loud, or visualized in the form of a conversation between money and you. Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter; people the opposite. Funny Affirmation Quotes - ShortQuotes.cc I am finding fun and joy in everything I do and everywhere I go. 148. I love my computer because all my friends live inside it. 50 Funny Affirmations for a Daily Dose of Humor - Happier Human People wont be going to bed thinking about that one bad joke you made. 205 Hilariously Funny Quotes For Work To Make You Chuckle A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. 32. 238. Pampered cows produce spoiled milk. Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door. 121. When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. Frances McDormand, 42. My wife and I were happy for 20 years, then we met. I bet giraffes dont even know what farts smell like. 114. 57. Or maybe, you just love cracking jokes and making people laugh. 50. I tell you what always catches my eye. You might enjoy: Affirmations: 13 Answers You Should Know. Im sorry that Im not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. 182. I dont worry about getting older. My wife and I were happy for 20 years, then we met. We are going to be best friends forever, besides you already know too much. 226. We have a connection. 144. Some when they enter, others when they leave. So, here's our compilation of funny work quotes that are perfect for every workplace: Image Source: Unsplash. What happens to a frogs car when it breaks down? 258+ Funny & Happy Friday Quotes To Explode Your Energy 106. Sarcasm is a tool of highly intelligent people and if youre one of them (I bet you are), youre going to love these funny affirmations that are filled with humor and sarcasm. 216. Top 40 Best Funny Affirmations To Make Your Day (2023) 2. 122. 279. - Unknown. 16. 165. "I make people laugh, whether it's with me or at me.". 5. They planet. 'Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.'. Dont worry about those who talk behind your back, theyre behind you for a reason., See also: The Best List Of 130 People Talk Behind Your Back Quotes. -Gandhi. Remember that the effects of affirmations are no laughing matter, so make sure your voice is heard. 132. Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else? You might enjoy: Affirmations: 13 Answers You Should Know I am wise enough to make the same mistake again!, 8. Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world. Given below are some short quotes to tickle your funny bone. Why cant you trust an atom? I wish my wallet came with free refills. If you want flowers on February 14, plant them now., 6. Its okay if people dont like me. 189. I dont go crazy, I am crazy. 55. If you steal from one author, its plagiarism; if you steal from many, its research. 61. Wake up and smell the birdshit on your windshield., 10. Enjoying this list of funny affirmations so far? 110. 31. Dont make me laugh, Im trying to be mad at you. Give me a photo of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas. 89. I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy. Allow your body to absorb the positivity of your words by repeating them to yourself. 108. If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? Top 10 Funny Affirmations For Self-Esteem, Funny Daily Affirmations To Boost Your Energy, Funny Positive Affirmations For Confidence, 90 Funny Affirmations To Start Your Day With Laughter, 90 Inspiring & Funny Quotes About Ageing Gracefully, 280 Positive Money Affirmations For An Abundance Mindset. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. 9. I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. 34. Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? 193. My funny vibes attract my funny tribe., 3. What better way to do that than through your own self-talk? 2. Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. 206. Affirmations for wealth can be a great way of getting your thoughts in order and creating a positive outlook. 53. Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. Short Funny Affirmations - Finally, I'm Revealing My Secret Robert Bloch. If Monday had a face, I would punch it. 244. I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing. I am joyful for achieving the ones I did. Today, I acknowledge the time I have spent over the week. Then you stand in front of the mirror, take a deep breath in, open your mouthwait, this is funny. If Cinderellas shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? I cant make everyone happy, Im not tequila. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow as well., 13. I am not only pretty but also pretty awesome, pretty smart, and pretty kind. I crack the right joke at the perfect moment. Thank God Im an atheist. 110. You cant have everything, where would you put it? And a funny bone., 10. 221. Say your affirmations slowly and clearly. Oh sheet! If you dont succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. So with that being said, heres a list of funny affirmations to motivate you to come out of your comedic shell. Find a quiet place without distractions. What happens to a frogs car when it breaks down? Pleasing everyone, thats impossible. I dont suffer from insanity. 218. I am grateful for that time. Maybe Monday doesn't like you either. I havent talked to my wife in three weeks. Its okay, he woke up. When you leave work on Friday, leave work. 64. There comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldnt even jump puddles for you., 13. You may think youll never get over it, but you will, and youll be fine., 7. Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place, the fridge. Pardon me, I have 6 pounds of boneless mass to get rid of. Pat Sajak 4. The only relationship I have is with my Wifi. Even if youre a skeptic, you must admit these funny affirmations really work. Im describing you. Unknown. I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. We need to hear a pin drop. 229. Excuse me, I need to go be awesome today. So far, so good. What is the tallest building in the entire world? 164. I like my thoughts how I like my whiskey, always glass half full., 11. 168. I choose to stop obsessing about my body. My chins are a stairway to heaven. 187. 42. 73. People say you cant live without love, but I think oxygen is more important. 209. 214. Whether its at other people or at ourselves, its good to laugh in life. 10. If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut. It is, therefore, safe to say that, sense of humor. Im lovely because everyone likes me more than Monday morning!, 7. A mind is like a parachute. 103. 184. 84. Monday I shall slay thee with me mighty cup of coffee. Never test how deep the water is with both feet. "A moment of patience in a moment of anger saves you a hundred moments of regret. "Sometimes the best part of my job is that the chair swivels.". I used to have winter fat but now I have spring rolls. 32. On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. If you just want to keep reading, then heres some affirmations about the funny side of friendship. First, the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. Life always offers you a second chance. Short Funny Quotes. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. Steven Wright, 252. Your brain will only ever optimally respond to positive present tense affirmations such as " I am calm .". I didnt give a f*ck yesterday, I dont give a f*ck today, and I wont give a f*ck tomorrow either. Daily affirmation: your hair is so much better than it was in middle school., 2. Choose words that make you feel confident about yourself. Chris Rock Go to bed with satisfaction.". 26. "In life only one thing is certain, Friday will come.". 153. 187. Funny positive affirmations do work. It changes your perception and these short positive affirmations have a way of changing the way you look at yourself and feel more confident. Pat Sajak, 41. Really? Wilson Mizner, 262. Marriage is like a walk in the park, Jurassic Park. Every time I like the taste of the food, I am damn sure that its unhealthy for me. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. Oscar Wilde, 5. I can't make everyone happy, I'm not tequila. Lorrin L. Lee. Expect nothing and appreciate everything. 231. 262. grateful. To put your affirmations into practice, follow these steps. If you think nobody cares if youre alive, try missing a couple of car payments. Microchips. ". Can February march? 219. I didnt mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button. Read next: 45 Self-Compassion Affirmations to Practice when Feeling Low. Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. A mind is like a parachute. Never forget that broken crayons can also color. It will warm you twice unknown. "Start each day with a positive thought and a grateful heart.". I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. Funny affirmations youll find here will boost your confidence and make you laugh. Choose a job you love and youll never have to work a day in your lifebecause that field isnt hiring. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Dear universe, Im totally open to all of the amazing things coming my way., See also: 120 Best Spiritual Universe Quotes To Contemplate Life. Youre not tequila., 5. "When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.". We frequently doubt ourselves. These affirmations are funny, humorous, witty and sarcastic for work, friends, family, mom, to boost your self-esteem, confidence and strength. 1,132 Positive Affirmations: Your Daily List of - Develop Good Habits The chains on my mood swing just snapped.
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